The Life On Cars Mini resurfaces - here's why I didn't buy it

SUPPOSE you’re invited out for a drink with an ex you haven’t seen in years. You’re curious – perhaps even slightly sentimental – but you know it ended for a reason. What do you do?

That’s the way I felt the other day when the first car I ever owned turned up, completely unexpectedly, in an online auction. Naturally, it piqued my curiosity, and I’ve almost certainly spent far longer than anyone really ought to keeping track of all the bids a rather ropey, 30-year-old Mini.

It proved, given I’m exactly the sort of car lover who develops an attachment to what everyone considers to be automotive tat, to be a weirdly bittersweet experience. Even though there was no shortage of people egging me on, I couldn’t bring myself to do the motoring equivalent of getting back with your first girlfriend. I resisted the temptation to stick in a bid on the 1984 Mini Mayfair which for several years accompanied the logo of this very blog.

Not that I didn’t look back longingly, of course. If you really, truly love cars then your first outings in your own car are something you’ll reminisce about as fondly as your first kiss or your first pint, and for me those tentative initial trips in that Mini will be forever stacked away as wonderful memories. Being behind the wheel of A860 JKC meant the first time I ever took my own set of wheels to a car show, my inaugural motoring holiday and finally being free of bus stops. It was so much more than just a car.

That’s why seeing it up for sale in almost exactly the same state in which I sold it left me feeling sad. Contrary to previous belief, any plans to restore it to its former glory seemed to have fallen by the wayside – in fact, the 2009 Woodvale Rally plaque I’d fitted was still cable-tied to its chrome grille. The only difference was that four years ago my old Mayfair got driven away; it got sold online as a non-runner.

In the end I resisted the temptation, largely because despite the supersized helping of nostalgia my abiding memory is of it being a car which you could rely on to let you down. I watched as it went under the virtual hammer for £120 more than I sold it for; I can only hope it went to someone who’ll love it as much as I did, and can rescue it using the funds I didn’t have back in 2010.

Despite the bittersweet ending, I realised I’d learned two things from watching my first car being snapped up. For one thing, old Minis really have shot up in price over the last few years – that’s why even ones which really weren’t very good, like mine, get snapped up.

But perhaps more importantly, I remembered it’s better to have loved and lost an old car than never to have loved it at all.

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The MINI Countryman isn't as bad as everyone makes out

I GET the feeling this particular article is going to be an expensive one.

The trouble is, I’ve ended up spending three days in a car which everyone loves to hate. In order to dissuade me from being too nice about it, my friends have used Facebook to set up a £10-per-compliment fines system, payable next time I see them in the pub.

A tricky call when the car in question is the MINI Countryman.

It’s one of a trio of jacked-up, off-roader-esque diesel hatchbacks (or ‘crossovers’ in automotive marketing speak) I’ve had the privilege to try out lately, with my weekend in the most massive MINI of them all coming after stints in Honda’s latest CR-V and Volkswagen’s Tiguan. It’s probably worth tackling the rather bloated, retro elephant in the room first; the MINI is, to my mind at least, the ugliest of the three.

I didn’t like the styling when I roadtested it forThe Champion three years ago and it still doesn’t look great now – it’s not that it’s a ridiculously oversized retro pastiche of the original Mini, but that, compared to the Honda and VW it just seems a bit blobby and ill defined. Perhaps as a conscious result of how it looks, the boot is also noticeably smaller than most of its rivals too.

Sadly, I don’t get a tenner back for every time I’m critical of the Countryman, so a few callous comments about its styling aren’t going to help me. Annoyingly, there are quite a few things the Countryman has in its favour.

The interior, for instance, is far more imaginative than anything else in its class, and if you’ve spent a lifetime on the M6 being bored by the relentless sea of grey trim and unassuming buttons in most modern motors then you’ll love the MINI’s rocker switches, lashings of chrome and the silly, pizza dish-sized speedo.

It’s also quiet at speed, rides superbly, is more than roomy enough for you and four of your average-sized chums, and it comes with the same feeling of sturdiness you’d expect from a car masterminded by BMW.

What you might not be expecting – and I definitely wasn’t until I ventured off the motorway and onto the quiet country lanes criss-crossing Cheshire – is that the MINI Cooper D Countryman handles and steers so much better than any of its chief rivals. There is, I begrudgingly admit, a faint whiff of Nineties hot hatch about the way it chews up corners, and a confidence-inspiring finesse to the steering I genuinely wasn’t expecting.

Given twenty grand it’s not the crossover I’d go for – that’d still be the Skoda Yeti – but the Countryman is far better than my mates give it credit for.

Mates who, by my reckoning, I now owe roughly £80. Oops.

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Whatever happened to the Life On Cars Mini?

AS the wind howled in from the Irish Sea and lorries thundered past I could feel the Mini’s speed sapping away, its tiny engine coughing and spluttering under the strain. The A55 in North Wales is a lonely place to be when you’ve just broken down in a car that’s older than you are.

It’s almost exactly five years since I encountered what would be the first of many breakdowns in my first car. Having only passed my test two months earlier, I probably should’ve been sensible and sourced a secondhand Micra or a lightly-cuddled Ka for my motoring debut. That, however, would have been boring, so I opted for a 1983 Mini Mayfair instead.

A car I grew to love and hate in roughly equal measure, depending on how much it’d broken down in any given week.

Even though I sold it more than three years ago, it is still the one car I get asked about more than any other. A860 JKC wasn’t so much a car as a source of automotive anecdotes. One day, I’d be revelling in its go-kart steering and how many mates and bags of Tesco’s finest you can cram into just ten feet of car. The next, I’d be cursing its British Leyland build quality and welding so bad you didn’t need a Haynes diagram to see its internals.

For all its foilibles, the car that became known simply as The Life On Cars Mini took me on thousands of miles of adventures everywhere from Caernarfon to Carlisle. Even though I’ve owned another, better-built Mini since – and quite a few other cars besides – I still miss it. In the same way you might miss your old teddy bear.So I was delighted to discover earlier today that the old girl’s still very much alive.

My automotive answer to Who Do You Think You Are was inspired by fellow Classic Car Weekly scribe Greg Macleman, after reading about hisefforts to track down his old, mid-Eighties BMW. A quick check on the DVLA’s vehicle enquiry website (well worth a go if you’re keen to ascertain your old car’s pulse, by the way) revealed that while it wasn’t on the road, it was still very much on its records. Which meant it’d escaped the crusher.

Next port of call was to dig out the Mini’s old records and give the chap I’d sold it to three years ago a quick ring, expecting it to prompt the start of a lengthy search. I was overjoyed to discover that he’s still got it – and that the car I fell in love all those years ago is finally being treated to the restoration I could never afford as a trainee reporter.

The Mini which graced The Champion’s motoring section every other week with its breakdowns all those years ago is, you’ll be pleased to hear, currently in a bodyshop being given a bit of TLC.

I feel a bit of a reunion coming on. Preferably not on a windswept dual carriageway on the North Wales coast, though!

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The new MINI and Miley Cyrus are more alike than you might think

THE new MINI and the singing brat from the Disney Channel, Miley Cyrus, have more in common than you might think.

Connoisseurs of pop culture might have raised an eyebrow when the Hannah Montana star strode confidently onto the stage at the MTV Video Awards, dressed in a skin-coloured bikini, and proceeded to treat the entire world to the most cringeworthy four minutes of television yet devised. Yes, Miss Montana’s sold millions of MP3s and singlehandedly invented something called ‘twirking’ as a result, but the world has been left a poorer place in her wake.

All of which leads me nicely to the third generation MINI. Which, like Miley, will be a storming sales success but never be quite as fondly as remembered as what went before.

It’s a debate BMW – the MINI’s German masters, don’t forget – have prompted themselves, by picturing the 2014 model next to not only its 2006 and 2001 predecessors, but also the brilliant, Alec Issigonis-penned original of 1959 vintage. While it’s bordering on the cliché to point out how much bigger the modern MINIs are compared to the 1959 car, it’s entirely fair game to point out that the latest version is bloated compared to even its Noughties predecessors, being longer, wider and taller. It’s also not especially pretty either, considering how much – and I admit it grudgingly, as a classic Mini fan – I like the lines of the 2001 MINI.

The 2014 offering might well be fantastically good fun to drive or unflinchingly reliable – in the same way Miley might make a mean cup of tea or be a dab hand at Scrabble – but compared to what’s been before it’s an opportunity for something innovative and exciting missed in a bid to hit the top of the charts. The new MINI, like the new Miley, could have offered us something genuinely interesting that moves the game on, but what we’ve got is more of the same, just a bit uglier.

Personally, I prefer my small cars to be a bit more like Lily Allen, with a bit more beauty and intellectual depth thrown in. The revised Citroen C1, in other words.

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The MINI owners with 25 million tunes choose from

IF YOU’RE the sort of motorist who can never make their mind up about what music to listen to then you might be interested in a new optional extra for the MINI.

The company has joined forces with music download gurus Deezer to make their downloadable iPhone app link up with MINI models, meaning owners can have access to up to 25 million tunes while at the wheel.

A MINI UK spokesperson said: “Using Deezer in-car is secure and intuitive using the MINI joystick, steering wheel buttons and high-resolution colour display of the on-board monitor, where functions are displayed in the familiar MINI style.

 “The addition of Deezer to the MINI Connected line-up is yet another example of MINI’s future-proof and intelligent interconnection between driver, automobile and outside world.”

 The car must be fitted with the Radio MINI Visual Boost or the MINI navigation system to be able to use the service, and you must have an iPhone to access the tunes.

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The new MINI Paceman makes sense. I think

HERE’S a thought. The new MINI Paceman is the car the Countryman should have been.

For what it’s worth, I think the latest addition to the already expansive MINI range has a name that makes it sound a bit like a personal stereo for people with cardiac problems but most of Britain's motoring writers have found other things to be cruel about – it’s a worthy enough car, they reckon, but one that’s completely pointless. Why would anyone want a MINI Countryman with less room and fewer doors?

Well, I would, and here’s why.

Before I go any further I’ve got two things I ought to declare – that I owned not one, but two of the classic Minis, and that I’ve yet to actually drive the Paceman. I have, however, got behind the wheel of its closest cousin, the five door Countryman, the open-top, two-seater MINI Roadster, and a couple of different versions of the vanilla MINI hatchback estates agents up and down the land have loved more than a decade.

There’s nothing that really touches an original Mini for immediate, smile-on-your-face small car fun but I’ve always liked the new MINI because it’s frisky, good looking and packed with character (even though I’d still take a Suzuki Swift Sport over a Cooper). The Countryman though, was the exception the rule – not only is this Nissan Qashqai rival a bit weird and bloated looking, but it didn’t feel like a MINI when I drove it. To badly misquote Get Carter, it’s a big car but it’s out of shape.

The Paceman, though, is like a Countryman that’s been down to the gym to get back into shape – yes, it’s bigger than the normal MINI but it still looks the part, which if you’re in the market for a MINI is what matters. I know you only get four seats to the Countryman’s five and two fewer doors but it’s still measurably more practical than the MINI without looking like its overdone it on the Melton Mowbrays. Better to drive too, if the musings of the motoring magazines who’ve already tested it are anything to go by.

Let me put it to you this way – the MINI Clubvan is hopelessly impractical next to the similarly priced Berlingo and Kangoo vans but not one small business will care, because the Clubvan grabs eyeballs and the Gallic load-luggers don’t. Looks count for an awful lot in MINI land. The Paceman has what it takes, and the Countryman doesn’t.

So I get the point of the Paceman entirely. Just a shame about the name, really.

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British Mini Club Show 2013 at Bingley Hall, Staffordshire

COLD weather and the prospect of a long drive to Staffordshire didn't put thousands of enthusiasts off attending a celebration of one of Britain's best known classics.

Clubs from across the country helped to make this year's British Mini Club Show, held at the Staffordshire County Showground, a big success, with a 1992 Italian Job special edition model being raffled off for charity on the day.

Life On Cars took these pictures at the event:

Do you have a motoring event you'd like to share with Life On Cars? Get in touch by sending an email to david.simister@hotmail.co.uk or just leave a comment below...

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Wirral to Llandudno Mini Run 2013

 

WELSH car enthusiasts were in for a treat this weekend when dozens of Minis descended on the seaside of Llandudno.

Despite bitterly cold weather fans of the classic small car turned out in force for a show on the resort's promenade, many of them having made the journey from Wirral, Merseyside earlier this morning as part of an organised convoy along the A55 into North Wales.

Life On Cars - fresh from an equally chilly trip across the Welsh countryside - took these pictures in a rather frosty Llandudno:

Have you got a classic car event you'd like to promote? Get in touch with Life On Cars at david.simister@hotmail.co.uk or leave a comment below...

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Cold but brilliant open air motoring

AS we headed ever higher into the mountains above Bala, the muddy green of the countryside became a chilly shade of white.

Today Life On Cars is one of its adventures over the border, with our merry gang of enthusiasts on the way to Llandudno to see the gaggle of Minis which travel to the resort on their annual run from the Wirral.

On the way however, we've ventured through the mountains on the wonderful roads which wind their way through Bala, Blaenau Ffestiniog and Betws-y-Coed, even though at a frosty two degrees it was probably  a tad too cold to have the MX-5's roof down.

 Bloody freezing but big, big fun.

 Check out Life On Cars tomorrow for a full report on the 2013 Wirral to Llandudno Mini Run

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What will happen to the Mini that time forgot?

IT'S like Indiana Jones meets The Italian Job. This story is so intruiging, I thought it needed bringing out of the classic car forums and onto these pages.

It begins deep underground, in a network of tunnels beneath one of Britain's biggest car factories, the former British Leyland plant at Longbridge. For years, a rather battered old Mini has sat down there, lonely and unloved, gathering dust for decades. It's been stripped of almost all of its useful bits and the roof's been bent in like a banana, but this Clubman version, not a million miles from the Seventies Minis you see above, is quite unlike any other. The Mini which nobody wanted is the last ever Mini to leave the factory.

How did it end up down there? Well, the story goes that when this Mini was being made, it fell off the production line at the factory, and rather than repair it the Longbridge workers ran it around the factory for a few miles and took whatever bits were useful off it to use on other cars.

When it was no longer deemed useful it was bundled off into the tunnel, which had been built in the 1940s to protect the factory workers - who were busy making ammunition rather than cars for a change - from the Luftwaffe. The Clubman that never was stayed in the tunnel right through the bitterest days of British Leyland, right through Austin Rover's tenure, remained unloved when BMW took over the reins and even remained ignored when MG Rover finally went bust in 2005. It's only now that a Mini enthusiast has had the tenacity to fish it out, and it's caused a bit of a fuore in the process.

Should the crumpled old heap, which had its roof stoved in after an unfortunate encounter with a shipping container, stay in that tunnel for posterity's sake? Should it be moved to a museum somewhere? Or should the car's saviour restore the old girl back to her former glory, even though for all sorts of boring legal reasons it can't actually be used on the road?

For what it's worth, I reckon it should come out, but I can't see many museums wanting to take on an exhibit that can't even be moved on its own wheels.

It'd take many of thousands of pounds to mend it properly and keep it original, but if someone's up for the exhaustion and expense then they've got my backing. It'd be great to see one last Mini - the Mini that time forgot - rev up its little A-Series engine in anger.

It's too good to be left abandoned in a tunnel forever.

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MINI embraces coupe style for new Paceman

FEAST your eyes on this - a sort of coupe version of the MINI Countryman.

The Paceman, which is closely related to the five-door soft roader but comes with a sleeker and sportier shape, is set to go on sale across the UK early next year, making it the seventh version of the the BMW-engineered baby. Just in case you've forgotten, here's the others; Cabriolet, Coupe, Countryman, Roadster, Clubman and the three door hatch that started it all.

A strict four seater, the Paceman will come with four engines - two petrol, two diesel - and the choice of six-speed manual and auto boxes, with the range-topping Cooper S Paceman packing a 184bhp punch and the ability to sprint to sixty in 7.5 seconds.

The Paceman goes on sale next March, with prices starting at £18,970.

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The Mini show at Santa Pod was a drag for all the right reasons

YOU really needed earplugs to watch the jet car. The sound it made as it screamed past was utterly magnificent, but so loud it was actually painful.

Yesterday I thought I'd do something completely different to get my petrolhead kicks, which is why I jumped in the back of a mate's Saab for the long journey down the M1 to Santa Pod in Northamptonshire. The UK's home of drag racing was having one of its ‘Run What Ya Brung' days for Mini owners, called Mini In The Park.

The event does pretty much what it says on the tin - you pay a couple of quid, line your pride and joy up alongside someone else's pride and joy at the start of a quarter mile dragstrip, and see who gets to the other end first.

Even though I wasn't driving it was a joy to watch, particularly because there was definitely an unofficial element of Mini (the cheeky Brit runaround I've owned a couple of) versus MINI (the BMW-engineered city slicker of today). It was genuinely close stuff in some of the races - yes, the modern motor's got more power as standard, but the older cars came with all sorts of weird and wonderful modifications to make them go even faster. When one new MINI made a blistering start, only to make a large bang and deposit several expensive-looking bits of intercooler along the run, I wasn't sure if I was meant to laugh or cry.

A really quick run in a hotted-up Mini was somewhere between 10 and 15 seconds, but to appreciate the difference between really quick and a proper dragster you just had to see the jet car, a machine which manages to bend time because it's so brutally fast. I simply cannot believe it did a quarter of a mile in less than FIVE seconds, but it did, doing 265mph when it crossed the line! To put it into perspective, that's nought to the top speed of a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport in a quarter of the length of Lord Street in Southport in less than the time it'll have taken you to read this sentence. Surreal stuff.

Even though I'll make sure I bring some earplugs again next time, drag racing's definitely worth the 350 mile round trip. In car nut terms it was like Christmas had come early, only there was a different sort of Santa involved.

Life On Cars took these pictures of the event:

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Fire up the... MINI Cooper S Roadster

DID the Great British Summer end ages ago or is yet to begin? Thanks to heatwaves, floods, droughts, downpours and landslides, I doubt anyone's really sure.

One thing, however, continues unabated during the country' greener months - our unusually optimistic take on it all, probably best expressed automotively through our generations of small and not-at-all-leaky sports cars. It's a mantle MINI's keen to take on with their latest addition to the small car family, a two-seater ragtop roadster aimed at the keen driver.

Posing's a big part of what sporty cars like this are all about and on this front it's usual MINI fare, with a short, stubby stylishness on the outside and lots of chunky rocker switches on the inside. To my mind it looks better than its tintop sister, the MINI Coupe, because it swaps that car's hideous baseball hat roof for neat, electrically-powered soft top that's a doddle to operate.

It's also a doddle to drive and as keen to attack corners as the rest of its MINI sisters, although I can't help feeling that if it's driving fun you're after than the 2.0 litre version of Mazda's MX-5 will offer you more thrills for the same sort of money as the Cooper S version's £19,000 asking price. That said, the rear-wheel-drive roadster can't compete with the MINI on looks or interior ambience.

Ironically, the MINI Roadster's biggest rival in my books comes from within, in the larger and more familiar shape of the MINI Cabriolet. No, the Cabriolet can't offer the same sharpness in the corners but it's still an absolute joy to drive, and it offers space for four and a bit more space for your bags. If I wanted a sports car I'd go for that infernal Mazda, but if I wanted an open-top MINI, hand on heart, I'd go for the Cabriolet.

That said, if your heart's set on enjoying the added aesthetics and agility of the MINI Roadster during what's left of summer, you won't be disappointed.

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How a Mini Moke fan from Bootle became Britain's newest car manufacturer

A BOOTLE man has become Britain's newest motoring manufacturer after he put a cult classic car from the 1960s back into production.

Charles Andersen said that he has been able to start remanufacturing the AMC Cub, an open-top fun car modelled closely on the original Mini Moke, for the first time in 20 years after he secured a new supply of parts.

He told Life On Cars: “As far as I know nobody else in the country in the country is making anything else like this - all the other firms who were building Mokes like these shut down years ago, so it's something that's completely unique.

"The reaction you get people when you drive it is incredible - everybody smiles and waves at you, and you get people beeping their horns at you as you go past. It takes a bit of getting used to, but it's a lot of fun."

Mr Andersen's firm, Andersen Motor Company, originally produced the Cub in the 1980s using parts from the Mini, but was forced to end production a decade later when the supply of parts for the cars dried up. It is only now, thanks to new parts being produced for the original Mini that he is able to put his car, similar to the Mini Mokes used in the hit ITV show The Prisoner, back into production.

He added that while other Mokes were available from Chinese firms, he added that his is the only one made in Britain and the only one to pass Individual Type Approval tests, including fully-tested seatbelts for both the front and rear seats. The car also uses the same engine as the Mini - a 1.3 litre A-Series engine, in this case lifted from an MG Metro - but just like the original Mini Mokes of the 1960s is not fitted with doors, windows or a roof.

 

A car fully built at Mr Andersen's Bootle factory will set you back around £12,000 - less than the cost of a brand new MINI - but aspiring engineers can build themselves one for as little as £4,000, using parts from an original Mini used as a donor car.

For more information about the AMC Cub, visit the Andersen Motor Company website online at www.amcgb.com or give Charles a call on 07903 573050.

Keep an eye on Life On Cars over the next few weeks for motoring correspondent David Simister's thoughts on what the Cub is like to drive. 

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