The Ormskirk MotorFest was proper classic car fun

APOLOGIES if I brushed past you in Ormskirk the other day in the mad rush to make it to my car on time.

My MG was booked in for three glorious laps of Ormskirk MotorFest glory, and I was about 30 seconds from missing out. Regular readers will know I’ve been an avid supporter of West Lancashire’s motorsport-themed spectacular since its inception – it is, after all, the best possible use for Ormskirk’s one-way system – and that my trusty old MGB GT has for years joined scores of other classic cars in the event’s street parades.

What you probably won’t know, however, is that while the old girl made its usual appearance at last year’s event it was actually too poorly to take part in the parades, thanks to an unfortunate incident involving a sprint circuit, historic race ace Barrie ‘Whizzo’ Williams and a slightly misguided attempt by my colleagues to mend a misfire which went horribly wrong. Having decided that West Lancashire’s petrolheads would prefer not to hear an MG which sounded like an East European tractor, I pulled my classic car out of the parades altogether. That’s the joy of classic car ownership for you!

This year, however, I decided it’d be a crime not to get the MG, with all its rattly bits mended, into the parades around Ormskirk’s one-mile circuit. The only problem was that I somehow had to photograph the parades AND take part in them, which was why as the last of the bubble cars tootled up from Coronation Park towards the Parish Church I was nudging my way through the crowds in the opposite direction, eager to get from my photography spot to the MG in record time. With just seconds to go before the classic car parade eased onto Park Road, I got my pride and joy fired up.

It was great not only to be involved in the most exciting aspect of the MotorFest once again, but also to see how the event’s evolved from that single, full-throttle spark of an idea back in 2010.

The most welcome change was the hugely increased emphasis on safety, with barriers installed right the way along Park Road – there’s never been an accident in the parades, but from the perspective of a driver cruising past thousands of spectators it’s good to know the fans have got some added protection!

The event’s still got its uniquely egalitarian atmosphere, where anyone can come and watch an F1 car charge past the bus station and pay nothing for the privelige, but the addition of the autotests, the car club displays and the emphasis on organisation have helped it mature into something with a slicker, more mature feel. It’s also, given the Government’s decision to legalise what are effectively road racing events on closed public roads, a prime example of the spending power petrolheads bring to town centres when they flock their in their thousands for a car show.

Count me in for next year.

Check out the 3 September issue of Classic Car Weekly for David's full report on this year's Ormskirk MotorFest

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The Life On Cars MGB does MG90

Click on the image for a full size version of the article. All rights reserved by Classic Car Weekly.

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My MGB: to restore or not to restore?

YOU’D think with all the hours of online research, pub-based debating and burying my head in obscure books that I’ve got a dissertation to hand in. 

Yet in some ways, the question I’ve got to answer at some point this summer is actually even more challenging. What ought I to do with a tatty old classic car which I’ve developed an unfortunate attachment to? 

It’s a question that’s been vexing me ever since my four-wheeled companion emerged from the MOT station back in March. Regular readers might remember my classic car, an MGB GT which arrived at the Simister household four years ago on the back of a trailer after spending at least a decade hidden away on a farm in the Lake District. Since then, it’s been on all sorts of adventures, plodding to car shows across the North West, parading past Blenheim Palace on a classic car rally and – on a day I’d actually rather forget – being thrashed to within an inch of its life around a track by race ace Barrie ‘Whizzo’ Williams. 

It’s also – considering I bought it for just £200 – had quite a lot of love, time and money lavished upon it over the past few years. Yet as I discovered during its last trip to the MOT station back in March, it still isn’t enough. 

In short, I’m looking down the barrel of an MGB restoration that’ll almost certainly cost more than the finished product’s worth. 

While the bits that make the old girl go, stop and steer have long since been sorted out, leaving me with a car that at least drives in the wonderfully analogue, old-school way an MG should, the repair bill for sorting out the rot that’s slowly eating away at its wings, sills and valances looks set to run into the thousands. 

So the million dollar question – well, the six-to-eight grand question to be truthful – is whether I should.

I’ve met chaps at shows who’ve happily spent the price of a brand new Fiesta on transforming their tatty old classics into gleaming show winners, used them sparingly for a few years, and then sold them on for half their outgoings. Despite my best Man Maths (if you’ve ever tried to justify buying or restoring an old piece of automotive tat despite the complaints of a cynical wife or girlfriend, you’ll know what I mean) I’m not sure if I can bring myself to do the same. 

Put simply – would you throw thousands of pounds at a tatty old car or spend the same amount on a tidy Triumph Spitfire, a cheap TVR or a gleaming Peugeot 205 GTI? Answers on a postcard to the usual  address.

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The MGB GT is back

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Originally published in the 5 February edition of Classic Car Weekly. All rights reserved

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The motoring mysteries Life On Cars still needs to solve

THIS year is definitely the year of the anniversary. Porsche’s 911 is 50, the Corvette is 60, and even the humble Hillman Imp has knocked up its first half century.

So it’s probably passed you by that today marks four years since Life On Cars choked into cyberspace for the first time. Since then, this blog – and the sister newspaper column in The Champion – have gone on a high octane journey through a world of car shows, reviews and test drives, taking in a few broken down Minis and sunburnt afternoons along the way.

However, there are a few questions which – despite having a finger on the pulse of all matters motoring since 2009 – still haven’t been answered. Niggling issues and unsolved mysteries, such as…

Does The Audi Lane actually exist? 

The more I drive on motorways, the more I’m convinced the outer lane has – perhaps through the signing of a secret EU protocol at a summit in deepest Ingolstadt – been reserved exclusively for cars with four rings on the radiator grille. Whether you’re in an entry-level A1 or a thumping A7 V12 TDI, your 95mph entrance into The Audi Lane is politely welcomed. Daring to venture there, however, in anything other than an Audi seems to result in the image above dominating your rear view mirror…

Can I get Allegrodote into the motoring lexicon?

An Allegrodote, in case you missed the article earlier this year, is an anecdote solely covering the Austin Allegro, particularly if it’s one that isn’t true. With BL’s great hatchback hope itself celebrating its fortieth birthday, it’d be great to see whether the car which inspires more urban myths than any other could be given its own special term to mark the anniversary.

Is the Renault Clio the most sensible secondhand car ever?

It struck me earlier today that almost everyone I know seems to have an owned a second generation Renault Clio, made by the French firm between 1998 and 2006. Whether it’s the 1.5DCI diesel – of £30 a year road tax fame – or the strikingly quick Renaultsport Clio 172, they do seem to reflect frankly ridiculous value for money. Which is why, I suspect, most of my mates have got one.

Why do cheeseburgers at car shows always cost £5.50? 

This one I’ve yet to understand – a cheeseburger at a car show, whether you’re in Dorset or Cheshire, Lancashire or Lanarkshire, almost always costs £5.50, making me suspect there’s some sort of layby-based cabal somewhere determining the price. That is, of course, with the exception of the Goodwood Festival of Speed, which when I visited earlier this year marked itself out as a car show of a higher calibre. This, I think, explains the £8 you paid for a burger there.

What will the next Fiat 500 spinoff be? 

We’ve already had the 500C, the Abarth, the hideous 500L, the even more hideous 500L MPW and now the frankly unbearable 500L Tracking. Chances are that by this time next year you’ll be able to buy a 500 Roadster, a 500XXL Fire Engine, a 500 Beach Buggy and perhaps a 500 Submarine. All of which will be worth £500 in a used car auction near you in the not-too-distant future.

Can you go green-laning in an electric car? 

I was wondering this earlier today when I’d stopped laughing at the Hummer electric car a UK design firm has come up with. Land Rover came up with an electric Defender earlier this year, but I am left wondering what would happen to an electric 4X4 if, for instance, you took it wading through a river in the Cumbrian countryside. Potentially, the results could be shocking…

Why are Peugeot interiors always messy?

An old colleague of mine got so cross when I put this particular pet theory across that the column I’d been planning for that week got quietly canned, for offending owners of 307s everywhere. It does, however, leave the ongoing mystery as to why so many unloved car interiors I’ve seen are in Peugeots, from a 406 Estate practically blacked by cigarette smoke, the 407 with Seventies-esque disco lighting on account of its numerous technical warnings, and a 206 lined with old McDonalds bags and a distinct whiff of vomit, even though it was barely a year old at the time.

Do ‘GB’ plates make you motor look more modern? 

A mate of mine put this to me today and – annoyingly – he’s absolutely right, although I’m not entirely sure why. All afternoon I’ve been checking out whether cars have the telltale EU blue strip at the side of the numberplate, and determined that all the cars that do somehow look newer than otherwise identical ones which don’t. Weird, but true.

Why are all classic cars described online as ‘BRAN FIND’? 

Genuine classics which are in ‘barn find’ condition are worth a fortune – witness, for instance, the E-Type which sold at auction for £109,000 after spending most of its life hidden away in the aforementioned agricultural building. However, that doesn’t excuse clumsy eBay sellers flogging any old tat as a ‘barn find’, inadvertently mis-spelling it as ‘BRAN FIND’ in the process. In the world of crap secondhand buys, any car of any age or merit can be described as ‘BRAN FIND’ if it's spent even a short of amount of time in a garage or other building.

Will my MGB GT ever be finished? 

Speaking of which, my MGB – which actually did spend a decade of its life in a barn – has over the past three of Life On Cars’ four years kept me busy with visits to shows and appearances in the pages of Classic Car Weekly. While it’s had a small fortune spent on it there are many, many jobs it could still benefit from – least of all, a proper tune up after its latest excursion made it sound like a cement mixer with a cold. I wager, though, that it’s the automotive equivalent of painting the Forth Bridge. Maybe it’s a job that’s never meant to get finished…

Life On Cars thanks both of its readers for all their support over the past four years

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The MGB GT gets its fifteen minutes of fame!

As originally published in Classic Car Weekly, 17 April, 2013

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The MGB GT V8 - a great car with a wonderful engine

WHAT do the Rover P6, the TVR Griffith, Range Rover and the Morgan Plus 8 all have in common?

Fans of loud, burbly exhaust notes will probably nail this one instantly - lift this very different variety of bonnets and you'll find, in one state of tune or other, a Rover V8. A aluminium thunderstorm which - thanks to it powering a string of my dad's Land Rovers and Range Rovers - provided the motoring soundtrack for much of my childhood.

 

Yet it was only yesterday I finally got up close to one of the rarer entrants from the Rover V8's back catalogue - the MGB GT V8, of which only 2,591 were made during a stint in the Seventies when British Leyland had the three litre Ford Capri in their sights. That's why I popped over to my friends at Parkhill Garage to see what should be an instant hit in my books - a Rover V8 in a MGB GT, a classic I'm more than familiar with.

It didn't disappoint.

You just have to click the video I recorded to realise why I was smitten as soon as it started up - just listen to that exhaust note! Compared to my own, four cylinder MGB it's got forty more horses to call upon, it does roughly the same to the gallon (weird, but true), and - because the aluminium V8 is such a light engine - it actually weighs a tiny bit less too. Oh, and it's rare and looks fantastic and goes like stink.

This or a Capri? You decide...

Have you got a motoring story or event you'd like to share with Life On Cars? Get in touch by sending an email to david.simister@hotmail.co.uk or leave a comment below...

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The idiot and the cripple - a cautionary mechanical tale

MECHANICAL maladies, to trot out an old cliché, are like buses. You spend ages untroubled by them and then a stack of them all arrive at once.

The Life On Cars fleet normally consists of my cherished old MGB GT, the Mazda MX-5 for when I'm in the mood for a B-road blast and a Rover 214SEi for all the mundane, everyday tasks. However, while I can expect the MG, which was built at British Leyland factory in the 1970s, to be a bit temperamental, in the past week I've suffered a coolant leak on the MX-5 and starting problems on the normally faultlessly reliable Rover. 

All relatively minor problems for anyone with even the slightest bit of mechanical nous, but a talented engineer I am not. Normally I'd entrust such tasks to my long-suffering dad - who is a talented engineer - but because he's suffering from back problems I thought I'd do something dangerously unprecedented in my petrolhead life thus far.

With all the parts already ordered in, I thought I'd have a go at mending the problems myself.

It was a great plan. I'd set off at the crack of dawn this morning in the MX-5, pick up some spark plugs for the Rover, and appoint my dad as project manager while I changed the MGB's candle-in-a-jam-jar headlights for some halogen jobs. With this simple job out of the way, I'd then switch the cracked hose on the freshly cooled MX-5 for a new one, swap it for the Rover and treat that to a new distributor cap, leads and spark plugs. I had all the bits I needed, a full Saturday to do it in and a talented engineer - albeit one who couldn't, thanks to a spot of sciatica, do anything involving physical labour - to advise me.

Sadly that's not exactly how it worked out.

For starters, the MX-5 decided it wasn't going to play ball, and decided at the exact moment of me pulling into PartCo's car park that the my pre-mend bodging wasn't up to scratch. As the man behind the till passed me the Rover's leads and plugs, he looked past my shoulder and out of the window, at the increasingly sick-looking Mazda.

After giving me a slightly worried glance, he asked: "Would you, by any chance, be needing any K-Seal as well?". 

"Yeah, it might not be a bad idea," I responded, before he gave his diagnosis.

"Your car looks like it's about to explode."

Half an hour, a bottle of K-Seal's finest and three miles of automotive limping later and I was ready to crack on with the first of the three tasks - swapping the MG's lights over. It should've taken, at most, half an hour, but everything that could possibly have gone wrong did go wrong. We blew fuses. We rounded screws. We ended up getting endlessly frustrated by impossibly fiddly bits of wiring which could only really be solved by suddenly sprouting a second set of arms. Worst of all, we'd underestimated that dark force of the UK's classic car scene; British Leyland electrics. All the coffee, minor injuries and swearing in the world can't beat that one!

Several hours later and the idiot/cripple team had to throw in the towel, when the talented-but-injured member of our double act found it just too painful, literally and metaphorically, to carry on. Frustratingly, even after all that grafting I'm at the exact same point I was this morning, with an MG with a single working headlight, a Mazda that thinks it's a kettle and a Rover which refuses to start if the weather's being a bit British. 

Naturally, there's only one way to deal with this humiliating defeat on a trio of relatively simple mechanical tasks. Have another go tomorrow, of course...

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My classic car insurance nightmare

ALL I got from the world of car insurance was the ambient noise of a call centre. That and a helping of Fleetwood Mac after being put on hold again.

I've written before about the mental mindfield that is insuring your motor. I moaned about how a company refused to accept two claim-free policies held consecutively over 24 months as being a legit two years' no claims. I've pondered why it is premiums only ever seem to go up, and I've reported that even the Government have probed the murky workings of this strange industry.

So I wasn't surprised when I discovered the renewal quote for the classic car policy covering my MGB GT had gone up. Again.

Even though I'd been tootling to and from car shows for the best part of two years without so much as a scratch the cost of a year's cover had gone up by £30 from last year, which was itself £30 more than the year before that. I know full well that classic policies don't accrue a No Claims Bonus in the same way as your run-of-the-mill policy would - that's part of the reason why it's so much cheaper - and £200 a year's hardly a deal breaker, but in the interests of getting even a slightly better deal I thought I'd do a bit of shopping around.

First call was to my insurer's chief rival, who said they were sure they'd be able to find me a better deal and immediately fired off the questionnaire you always get when phoning for cover. A quick blast of Fleetwood Mac after being put on hold later and they had the answer; it was £150 dearer. Not surprisingly, I politely declined.

But here's the interesting bit - rather than sound apologetic and let me get on with my Saturday afternoon, they put me through to another insurance company, who gave me the standard insurance questionnaire a second time, and when they couldn't find me a quote, they put me through to another insurance company. It was like a bizarre game of Pass The Parcel, where someone racking up a huge phone bill has to be passed around before the music - Fleetwood Mac, which seems to be the soft rock band of choice for people putting you on hold - stopped playing.

After 35 minutes on the phone, I was getting just a little bit annoyed. So you can imagine how I felt when insurance salesman number four offered me "a competitive quote" of just £520. I'll say that again - a "competitive" quote of just £320 more than I'd started with. I was furious, particularly when I pointed to him out my renewal quote was less than half the price of what he was offering.

"Is it really?," he replied sarcastically.

Don't get me wrong. I've nothing against the principle of car insurance - it's a legal requirement and you can, after all, never be too careful - but the way the industry operates makes little to no sense. These are the same people who refused to acknowledge my better half's six years of faultless driving because it wasn't British enough, and the same ones who upped the price of covering a mate's souped-up Mini from £600 to an eye-watering four grand because they'd changed their underwriter. They're the same people who once asked another pal for £8,500 to insure a Ford Capri worth less than £500 when he bought it, so it shouldn't really surprise me that, in their eyes at least, a £520 quote is "competitive" to someone who's been offered exactly the same thing for £200.

I couldn't help but conclude the UK's car insurance industry isn't a group of people or companies but just a single mysterious machine, bereft of common sense. It made no difference to them that I'm a member of the Institute of Advanced Motorists, have four years of No Claims Bonus on my everyday motor and only ever use the MGB for smoking to shows and back. As far as they were concerned I was a journalist (one of the highest risk professions there is), a twentysomething (one of the most dangerous ages to be) and a male (which used to mean I was the most dangerous gender, until a European court ruling forced them to think otherwise).

It finally came to a head last night, when yet another insurance company rang me up, didn't even give me enough time to tell them I was in work and would they mind calling me later on, and immediately put me on hold for another helping of Fleetwood Mac's finest.

I hung up.

Incidentally I'm a huge fan of Fleetwood Mac - Rumours is one of my favourite albums. I just resent the car insurance world using Don't Stop and Dreams as their phone holding tunes of choice...

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Fantastic car, awful weather

IT’S not often I get an entire afternoon to reacquaint myself with an old car. Even when the afternoon’s as wet and unwelcoming as this one’s been.

The old car in question is one you’ll be familiar with if you read these pages regularly; my 1972 MGB GT , which despite being one of my most treasured possessions hasn’t done any meaningful driving since its appearance at the Ormskirk MotorFest back in August. With the weather turning increasingly cold and miserable, the tougher driving tasks have been assigned to the MX-5.

Until now.

I would’ve loved to point the MG’s nose onto the motorway and go hunting for the hills of the Lakes or North Wales but with just a few hours of meaningful daylight I play with I went to a place surprisingly few motorists outside the Sefton/West Lancashire area know about. The shots you see here are taken on Cleaves Hill, which is a stone’s throw from Aughton. Normally, it affords some great views across to Liverpool and even to the Welsh coast, but today just about the most it could do were these moody countryside shots of the MG.

The weather was cold and miserable, the amount of water involved was playing havoc with the GT’s indicator relay and the light was fading fast, but I absolutely loved my afternoon with it. It’s a proper sports car in the old fashioned sense; heavy, noisy and not especially easy to drive, but tinged with a romance and a nostalgia which make its sound, handling and style ever more enjoyable.

I just can’t wait for it to be summer again, so I can enjoy it properly.

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Ormskirk MotorFest 2012 - the day in pictures

THOUSANDS of petrolheads have packed into Ormskirk to make the market town’s second MotorFest event a spectacular success.

The event, organised jointly by Aintree Circuit Club and West Lancashire Borough Council, saw scores of classic cars and bikes, including Grand Prix racers and Group B rally cars, take to the town’s one way system for the climax of a day of motorsport-themed action, in what has been one of the town’s busiest trading days.

Councillor Paul Greenall, the mayor of West Lancashire, told Life On Cars: “It’s been really good, and fortunately the weather held off. There have been lots of very good cars here, and they’ve brought thousands of people into Ormskirk.

“There’s been a lot of interest in both our charities, and for Ormskirk the number of people speaks for itself. I hope there’s another event next year, because this one’s been a big success.”

Among the highlights for visitors was the chance to watch rally star Becky Kirvan put her motorsport-prepared Ford Fiesta through its paces, the parade of supercars, including the McLaren MP4-12C, and a poignant motorcycle parade held in memory of Southport superbike racer Ben Gautrey, who was killed at a race in Cadwell Park last year.

Although the threat of bad weather had loomed over the event, with participants being treated to downpours early on, sunshine during the parades later on helped to attract as many 15,000 visitors into the town centre to see the displays near the clock tower and in Coronation Park, as well as a series of parades around the town’s one way system.

Neville Hay, event commentator, said:  “I thought it went very well, especially given the limited amount of time you have to work with, the amount you have to do and the sheer number of cars involved. It’s not something that happens every day, but I think it went extremely well.

“Last year’s event went very well, but this year’s show has gone even better. I really hope it happens again next year.”

Life On Cars took these pictures at the event:

Keep an eye on Life On Cars for a video from the event, and read more in next Wednesday’s edition of The Champion newspaper (August 29 edition).

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Getting ready for Ormskirk MotorFest 2012

IT'S been a busy day at Life On Cars HQ!

Not only have I nudged the Rover 214 through its MOT for a second time - at the same garage in Rainford which did such a great job of mending the MX-5 last Christmas - but I've spent an exhausting afternoon making sure my beloved MGB GT is looking its best for an event I've spent months looking forward to.


The 2012 Ormskirk MotorFest.

I'm not sure which is more likely to misbehave tomorrow - the MG or the weather - but either way I'm looking forward to seeing the surreal sight of Grand Prix cars roaring around the streets of Ormskirk, and Group B rally cars parading past the parish church.

I've been given special permission by the show's organisers to post updates on the event's Twitter feed, so if you're keen to know what's going on tomorrow or to share your thoughts either head to @2012MotorFest on the Twitter website or simply look at the cunning feed below, which will be updated throughout the show:


The official launch magazine, made by Life On Cars, has also had a great reception, with more than 1,000 people reading it since it was published last week. If you haven't had a look through it already, by means have a read whether you're planning on visiting the show or not - it's a good read (then again, I would say that, because I wrote it).

There'll also be posters at the event promoting the magazine, which you can read while you're there by simply looking for this QR code on the poster and scanning it with your smartphone:

The F1 cars, the acres of motorsport metal, the banter with the enthusiasts, the Group B rally contenders or just the chance to show off the MG to thousands of petrolheads - I'm not sure what I'm looking forward to most.

If you're planning on going to tomorrow's event, by all means pop over for a natter...

For a full follow up visit Life On Cars tomorrow (Sunday, August 26) and read next Wednesday's edition of The Champion newspaper.

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